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Men Struggle Too: Breaking the Cycle of Silence
- Katlyn Morrison
- Jun 24, 2025
- 5 min read
Updated: Jan 17
There are loud voices in today's society bending the ear of men and boys of all ages. These voices tend to glorify toxic masculinity and what “being a man” should look like. This type of content is being consumed in excessive quantities by men, and with the help of podcasts and social media, it can also be consumed at all hours of the day, with no break in this dangerous way of thinking. It is becoming more clear by the day that the men who are listening to this content and finding themselves amongst this crowd tend to show more violent behaviors towards others, especially women.
This content is showing boys and men that there is a “right” way to “be the man” of their relationship, or with women in general. Having others be scared of you is a popular message shared across these platforms.These influencers usually encourage berating, talking down to, destroying the confidence of others, all while convincing men that is what will build them up, make them feel stronger; more like a “real” man. Believing this is how you are supposed to act to build up your own confidence, tends to turn towards violent behaviors when the less violent acts are not showing the results you are looking for.
These voices exploit the vulnerabilities boys and men tend to find in themselves. They feed on that vulnerability and twist it to use against them by selling this false concept of who men really are and how they should act to make them better, while simultaneously making their lives worse and destroying relationships in the process. This type of content is becoming a massive issue not just for men, but society as a whole.
“Boys don’t cry”, “Be a man”, “Quit being soft”. These are phrases we’ve all heard before signifying that men are not supposed to have any real feelings. Little boys are growing up hearing phrases just like these from a very young age. Every time one of these small phrases are uttered, it leaves a massive, long-lasting impact on who that child will grow up to be. Saying these things to children is feeding into the stigma that boys don’t get to have true feelings.
Feelings are not only for girls and women. Every single human being is born with the ability to feel a wide spectrum of emotions. Yet we see so many boys and men really only honing in on one of those emotions - anger. Society tries to teach boys from a young age that the only acceptable emotion to have outside of happiness is anger. So many men have learned to respond to most situations with anger. If they feel sad, we see anger. If they feel uncomfortable, we see anger. That is, if we see any emotion at all. Because of this long standing belief that men should not feel, just as many men respond to hard situations not by anger, but instead by completely shutting down.
Due to the stigma placed on men, they are less likely to reach out for help when it comes to their mental health. This stigma around mental health and men has them staying silent while internally suffering on their own so as not to be seen as “weak”. This can be dangerous since men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women. 1 in 10 will experience anxiety or depression at some point in their lives. However, less than half of them will reach out for help.
So what can be done to help combat this stigma? For starters, if you are the parent of young boys, let them know showing emotion is okay. Teach them from a young age how to not only identify their emotions, but healthy ways to show and express them as well. Starting young can help to break the stigma of the next generation.
For the ones of this generation, be sure to check-in with the men in your life. See how they are doing, encourage more than the “I’m fine” answers. Let them know they can say how they truly feel without any judgement coming their way. Sharing resources is another way to help. Sharing hotlines, local organizations, and information about mental health support can go a long way. Also, sharing your experiences, especially if you are a man, can help others to not feel so ashamed for wanting, or evening thinking, about reaching out for help. It can let others know they are not alone in what they are feeling. Men are human too, and all humans have an innate need to know that what they are experiencing is normal and there are others who have been through the same things as them.
Breaking this cycle is important. It is important for all of the men out there, it is important for all of the little boys out there, and for the next generations to come. Being vulnerable can be terrifying, but also liberating. We owe it to men to break this stigma of you can only be a man if you don't show feelings. Because it’s the opposite really. How can we expect men to be the best version of themselves if half of them is hidden away?
“Men cry.
Men break down.
Men get anxiety.
Men feel insecure.
Men get abused.
Men have emotions.
Men have mental illnesses.
It’s not ‘unmanly’ to struggle.
Let’s support men.
Let’s encourage men.
Don’t belittle or silence men.
Men struggle too.” (Ubi Franklin, Art of Poets)
*If helping your young men learn to understand their emotions seems daunting, try out some of these resources to help you along.
Books:
Little Spot of Feelings boxed sets and plushies - Diane Alber (For kids)
The Color Monster - Anna Llenas (For kids)
The Atlas of the Heart - Brené Brown (For teens and adults)
The Whole-Brain Child - Daniel J. Siegel ( For adults)
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen - Adele Faber (For adults)
Don’t be afraid to ask your local librarian for more options!
T.V. Shows & Movies:
Daniel Tiger
Bluey
Inside Out
Inside Out 2
Red
Podcasts:
Dads Who Try
Raising Good Humans
The Emotion Motion Podcast
Emergency Numbers:
If you or someone you know are experiencing thoughts of hurting themselves or someone else contact 911 or one of the numbers below.
988 National Crisis and Suicide Lifeline - Call or Text 988 - https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
Text HOME to 741741 for crisis and emergency support from anywhere in the USA
National Domestic Violence Hotline - Call 800-799-7233 or go online to chat at https://www.thehotline.org/here-for-you/
Resources