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Holiday Struggle Bus: Now Boarding (And How to Get Off)
- Katlyn Morrison
- Dec 12, 2025
- 5 min read
For some, the holidays are a time of celebration, time with family, and excitement. For others, the holidays mark a period of stress, anxiety, or even grief; with some just trying to get through the season as unscathed as possible.
Ken Duckworth from NAMI said it best, “For many people the holiday season is not always the most wonderful time of the year”.
There are many factors that can go into the reasons why someone may not enjoy the holiday season. These can range from the added financial stress of hosting or gift giving, to family conflicts and struggles with boundaries, even to anxiety and grief, and many other factors. Whatever your reasoning for not looking forward to the holidays, know that you are not alone in wanting to just get through this time as quickly as possible.
This time of year can also be difficult for those already struggling with their mental health, such as depression, anxiety, or even substance use. The holiday season can oftentimes increase the severity of your symptoms due to the additional stress and expectations this time of year holds.
So whether you are feeling a little anxious or absolutely dreading this holiday season (or even somewhere in between) just remember that there are things you can do to help you survive these next few weeks and support your mental health in the process.
Pay attention to how you are feeling.
Knowing what you are feeling while you are feeling it is important in addressing those emotions. It can be hard or even scary at first, but with practice this can become easier and allow you to know which skills to utilize that will be the most beneficial. And remember, whatever you are feeling during this season is valid. It is okay to not feel happiness or excitement this time of year.
Practice self-care.
Whether this is a long soak in the tub, reading a good book, drinking your favorite drink, indulging in your favorite snacks, or even just saying no to get togethers. As long as your self-care is in the form of taking care of you, that is what is important. Self-care is about giving both your mind and your body the time it needs to rest and recharge. Self-care is also important in protecting you and your inner peace during what for many, can be an extra stressful period.
Recognize seasonal mood changes.
Early sunsets don’t just bring out Christmas lights.They also bring longer stretches of darkness, and many of us start missing the sunlight our bodies and minds rely on. For a lot of people, this is when symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) begin to creep in.
SAMHSA defines Seasonal Affective Disorder as “a condition in which people experience symptoms of depression that are triggered by the change in seasons as the days get shorter. While this form of depression often improves in the spring and summer, it is important to talk with your health care provider if you feel you are experiencing these symptoms”.
Learn to say no.
The holidays can feel like a time when you have to say yes to everything. Yes to the many get-togethers. Yes to the secret santas or white elephants. Yes to bringing something to share with everyone else. Yes to being around family and people you would not normally choose to be around who make you feel angry or unsafe. Or even yes to giving up your peace for the sake of the societal pressure this time of year places on us. However, there is no rule saying you have to do any of those things. It is okay to say no. Whether it’s no to one thing or even to all of the things. The choice lies with you and no one can take away that power. When setting boundaries we are not in control of how others react to our boundaries, only in placing and holding the boundary itself. So it’s okay if someone gets upset at your no, that is their problem, not yours. And remember, “No” is a complete sentence. You do not owe anyone an explanation for your decision.
Identify your triggers.
Going into the holidays without knowing what is going to set you off can be a recipe for disaster. It will be harder to keep yourself from reacting in ways you maybe wouldn’t otherwise, or turning to coping skills that may not be the best choice. Your triggers can be anything that you feel like tend to set you on edge. Whether that’s the family member who says things you don’t agree with, the
temperature in the host’s house is too hot/cold, anxiety around being watched opening gifts or having to watch others open what you got for them, the reminders of someone who is no longer there to celebrate with, or whatever yours may be. Knowing these things before going into a time of added stress and being around family with the pressure to be cheery at all times can help you avoid major blowups, whether with others or within yourself.
Know when to seek help.
If at any point you feel that your mental health is becoming too overwhelming or difficult to handle on your own, know that there are options available to help. Whether this is checking in with your support network or your therapist, or using one of the supports below, remember that help is available when things start to feel out of control.
Emergency Numbers:
If you or someone you know are experiencing thoughts of hurting themselves or someone else contact 911 or one of the numbers below.
988 National Crisis and Suicide Lifeline - Call or Text 988 -
Text HOME to 741741 for crisis and emergency support from anywhere in the USA
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline - Call or Text 833-852-6262
National Domestic Violence Hotline - Call 800-799-7233 or go online to chat.
The Trevor Project - LGBTQ+ Suicide Hotline - Call 1-866-488-7386 - Text 678-678 or go online to chat.
Some additional ways that you can support your mental health through the holiday season include things like not isolating yourself and making sure you are spending your time with those you actually want to spend your time with. Don't overspend, if you don’t have the money, don’t spend it. Maintain a healthy routine and do everything in moderation. This time of year can feel like everything needs to be grand and excessive, and it doesn’t have to be that way if you don’t want it to. Work to avoid things like drama and conflict, or people you know are going to create those things. Lastly, be practical. You don’t have to have the best gifts or decorations, or the many different food choices, the cheeriest attitude, or even showing up at all of the places. Do what brings you happiness without adding unneeded stress to your life. It’s okay if you don’t get to do all the things you want this season or have the best feelings this time of year. Go easy on yourself and know that you are trying your hardest and that is all that matters.
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